Please excuse this post at the outset if you find it too long. I have debated for over a year on whether to make this information public, and want to ensure that I get both the facts, and my intention in telling it, clear.
The reason for the long debate with myself is because I have always wanted the energy surrounding Queen B to be positive. I want every interaction that someone has with Queen B to leave them feeling happier, more inspired, calmer and more focused. All those good things.
What changed my mind was a succession of conversations over the past few months, culminating in a conversation on Friday with a lady who was comparing our companies and working out whose candles to stock. She told me that she had had a conversation for over an hour with the guy who runs this other company and that amongst other things, he had told her that our candles were toxic, that burning them caused birth defects and that they contained petro-chemicals.
To be honest, I felt completely powerless. It was only serendipity that I found out about the conversation… I had called her to assist her with something else. She was actually quite apologetic when she raised the issue because she didn’t want to upset me and said that the only reason she told me was because it was on the basis of that conversation that she decided not to purchase our candles. Having spoken to me she realised how she’d been misled.
She said that he was a “bully”.
I had never thought of myself as a victim of bullying. I am 6ft tall. I am strong and robust. I am quite direct and opinionated. And yet, both directly and indirectly, this bully has lied, cheated and abused again and again over the years until I was so terrified of him that I was doing nothing about the lies he was telling.
I am still concerned to be honest, but I will no longer stand for his bullying…
I apologise in advance if you feel this post is ‘negative’. If you have ever been bullied, I hope this post inspires you to do something about it.
The Background
Prior to my starting Queen B, the only real option if you wanted to burn beeswax candles was to buy candles from this company in Northern NSW. All of their candles at the time were mixed with macadamia nut oil. It would be interesting to know why he thought this was OK whilst at the same time attacking other candles containing oils (be that essential, soy or palm) as being toxic to burn. His candles were made with macadamia nut oil until Queen B entered the market.
I decided that with Queen B we would raise the bar. We would only ever make candles that were 100% pure beeswax. No blending. No oils. No scenting or fragrancing. No soy, palm or paraffin. And certainly no macadamia nut oil. We set a new industry standard.
With an extensive range of rolled pillars already, I set about doing my wick testing for Queen B tealights. Intermittently I would get emails or calls from him telling me that he “owned the industry”. He “created the market for beeswax candles”. I was “picking crumbs off the masters table” etc. I started trying to ignore his emails and focused on the task at hand. In reality they shook me every time.
When we launched our pure beeswax tealights, one of the first companies to come knocking was our existing customer, Macro Wholefoods. Macro had stocked his blended beeswax tealights for almost 10 years and now that there was a pure option available they wanted them. This man became so verbally abusive to the buyer at Macro that she refused to deal with him. I am told that he then progressed to abusing the owner of Macro, Pierce Cody – both over the phone and on email. Eventually Macro refused to take his calls and set up their email system to reject his emails. You can only imagine the abuse that I was copping at the same time.
The Defamation Begins
What I found realised was that each time Queen B achieved something great that should really have him picking up his act, I would be contacted by other people telling me of a variety of wild accusations that he was making.
Shortly after Macro de-ranged his product, I got a call from one of my retailers who was very concerned because they had received a call from this guy telling them that my candles were toxic and could kill babies etc etc and that if they didn’t remove them from their shelves immediately they could be held liable. Can you imagine? I was completely in shock. Thankfully the retailer knew me well enough to at least question the information and to call me to alert me. They told me that he had sent through some “research” which supposedly showed something with a high level of some chemical… only problem being that it didn’t show the name of the laboratory and didn’t say what it was testing, let alone specify that it was testing a Queen B candle.
I worried about our retailers that didn’t know me or didn’t have the time to go about actively questioning and pulling apart bogus information. I immediately removed my list of retailers from our website. I have had over a dozen retailers tell me over the years that he has contacted them with this info. To this day I don’t know how many of our retailers have never reordered because of the claims he has made. I felt completely powerless to do anything (short of taking him to court for misleading and deceptive conduct or suing him for defamation both of which would divert my funds and attention from what I wanted to achieve).
I hoped he would just go away and lift his game. But bullies never do.
Sadly (for both me and for consumers) he is still peddling these lies on his website despite the ACCC declaring them to be false.
Resorting to Misleading and Deceptive Conduct?
Next thing I know he has changed his website so that his tealights which were previously advertised as 5-6 hour tealights (which I had never seen burn for 6 hours) were now advertised as 8 – 9 hour tealights. I was told this by a customer who had bought some and was complaining to me about how beeswax tealights don’t burn for that long. She gave me a box. To find out more of what happened you can read my post on Beeswax Tealights – We put Queen B and the Others to the Test. Suffice it to say that in over 20 tests, his tealights never burned for longer than 5.5 hours.
You would think he would realise the game was up and he’d fix his website. But no. Having received dozens of emails from customers thanking me for exposing him and his substandard candles and telling me stories of similar experiences, I received 3 emails in quick succession, all under different names giving different email addresses, abusing me sullying the name of a ‘good man’. Given I hadn’t mentioned his name I was surprised. My web guy called me and told me they were all from the same IP address (ie the same person). He had been arrogant enough in one of the emails to pretend to be a famous Byron Bay hotelier. So, I ‘replied’ to the email giving the hotelier my side of the story and the hotelier called me, aghast. He had never sent the email. Reading it he immediately said “I know who has done this” and named the bully and said he was going to call him and ban him from his hotel. I asked him not to as I didn’t want to provoke him. I believe he ignored me and banned him anyway.
You’ve got to be kidding
Next thing I know, the ACCC are ordering candles through my website. I call the guy who placed the order. After initially denying it, he confesses to me that they’re investigating our candles based on a complaint received from one of my competitors. UNbelievable. Now he is misleading a government department too. What a joke. All the while, he is calling our retailers telling them that Queen B candles are being “investigated” by the ACCC… which strictly speaking is true, and yet outrageously misleading given the facts.
I co-operate fully with the ACCC. They do their testing and a full enquiry. They speak to my suppliers. They do a thorough investigation. As I had told them we would be from the first phone call, we are completely clear. For those of you who are interested, you can read the ACCC letter to Queen B here. Yes I agree the wording is pathetic given what they had just put me through. Lawyers!
Another win for the good guys… although I thought the ACCC could have used much stronger language about his baseless allegations and the complete waste of taxpayers money and my time.
Undeterred, he Publishes his Lies Online to an Unsuspecting Public
I had hoped that after that he’d go away. However, suddenly I noticed we were getting a sharp spike in calls asking me about what paint we use on Queen B candles. Adding 2 and 2 together, I go to his website and there it is, on the home page…
Is there no limit to the lengths this guy will go to?
In fact, his website is full of lies and misinformation… from his claims about using only certified organic Australian beeswax, to his claims to have been “the original” since 1975 (on another page he says 1992)… indeed even his claim that he made the original beeswax tealight. Given beeswax candles have been made for centuries, it would be fair to question his claim of being “the original”, let alone when his candles were macadamia nut oil & beeswax blended tealight candles.
While he claims to have “a long standing relationship with bees”, this man is no friend of bees. Indeed he told the woman in Melbourne that he doesn’t even have a single hive. Interestingly, I volunteer each year on the honey stand at the Royal Easter Show and have been told by several local beekeepers that he was known for stealing bee sites (ie putting his bees on a site he had no permission to use to the detriment of the beekeeper who had permission to use the site). This is first hand information.
Sadly, I have been told anecdotally that he has done this all before. There are several victims in his past… some of whom I know, many of whom I am sure I don’t.
Trying to Sort it Out Without Going Public
Once the ACCC investigation had concluded and he continued to publish what was now established as lies, I made my own complaint to the ACCC. You can read the Queen B letter to ACCC here. I was advised that due to funding they can’t take up every matter and I would be better off (and likely successful) if I sued him under s.52 of the Trade Practices Act for misleading and deceptive conduct and/or defamation. I, however, don’t want to waste my very limited funds on that and given the ACCC have already ruled on his baseless claims, I think it is appropriate that they discipline him.
So, there it is. That’s the story.
I am standing up to the industry bully. In doing so, I feel as if I am being even more authentic. I have always sought to be ‘real’… well, this is part of my reality. Yes, I have the most divine job on earth and I passionately love what I do, BUT it isn’t all a bunch of roses.
What Next?
A doctor friend tells me he has all the hallmark traits of a sociopath, so I guess I’m a little wary of what happens next.
If you have personally been mislead by his claims insofar as they relate to Queen B, and/or found that the burn times he advertises for his candles are misleading, feel free to lodge a complaint with ACCC or you can send your information through to me and I will compile a dossier for them. You can also complain to the Department of Fair Trading. Or you can post a comment below.
If you haven’t been mislead and you simply enjoy burning Queen B candles, this is just a little insight into one of the challenges that I have faced over the past 8 years!
Phew. That took a little longer than I had thought. Now it is out there. If he continues to bully, I will continue to publish. I am having my very own “Casey” moment and fighting back. Please be reassured that by sharing this story, I share the burden and free up more space and energy for beauty to continue flowing in and out of Queen B the business. I am very careful not to make any candles or do have anything to do with the candles when my energy is affected by this bully.
While he takes pride on his website claiming that only he is capable of churning out hundreds of thousands of candles a year, I am delighted to reassure you that every Queen B tealight is individually hand-poured from an enamel teapot with love and conscious intention.
I am gobsmacked that in this day and age, and particularly in an industry which as beautiful as making beeswax candles, that this behaviour is countenanced.
Breathe in the love and out with the negativity now friends… sticks and stones and all that. His words may rattle. His words may mislead. His words may deceive. His words may defame. But, with friends, family, candle lovers, supporters and customers like you, they can never really harm me.
Thank you
xx
Queen B beeswax candles are made with 100% pure Australian beeswax a pure cotton wick and copious amounts of hand made love. We stock beautiful and stylish candle holders, personalised candles, votive candles and pillar candles that nourish the human spirit and our environment.
Good on you for standing up for yourself, Cate! It always disturbs me that the bullies end up dictating the rules because everyone is too afraid to do something about it. One of our former suppliers made me shake with rage after every encounter – it made me so upset that they could make me feel that way! It is clear he is threatened by you for doing such a wonderful job, but completely devastating that he would make up such serious lies about your candles. I hope that he stays out of your life after this!!
-Cath
x
I love Queen B candles, I would never purchase any other since I have found you a number of years ago.
I am glad you told us about this, and what you have been forced to endure.
The ACCC should disipline this industry bully.
Cate, I’m so sorry to hear that you have this problem. Unfortunately bullies do know how to get to people and it’s difficult to get them to stop. While you can’t hide where you work, please be sure that your personal details are kept as private as possible, including getting a silent phone number if you don’t already have it.
I have found his claims regarding his tealights to be misleading and I posted a comment to that effect on your tealight test blog post.
There are many very good reasons why I only buy your candles and no others. My first experience of them was in a Macro Wholefoods store and the naturopath who worked there told me all about your candles and how lovely you were in making sure that they were happy with them and helping them out with emergency stock refills. That was enough to start me off. Then personal experience of dealing with you, together with your divine candles has kept me coming back.
Stay strong. I do wish the ACCC would do more against him.
Christina
Cate since opening my store 12 months ago and ONLY stocking Queen B l would NEVER stock any other candles as l tell all my customers (and anyone else that will listen) getting to know you and your product has been a lovely life lesson……. one l will carry with me always!
Liz Wilson
Peggy said…………..
Thanks angel… the feeling, as you know, is mutual. I am genuinely humbled by the size of task I’ve been given to achieve in this lifetime and I love having company with beautiful people on that journey. xx
Good on you Cate – keep focusing on your own beautiful products and don’t pay any more heed to this person than you need to.
Anyone with bad intentions will bring themselves undone! I have experienced this sort of ‘competition’ myself in a small family business I used to work in, from people who were angry we were giving customers a fairer, better product option, and had to wait a while and experience their ridiculous ‘set-up’ tax audits & Dept. Fair Trading investigations which we passed easily each time, but with much stress (as I’m sure you have endured). But the good news is, these businesses did eventually put themselves ‘out of business’ with their own bad energy bouncing back at them! The expression, ‘give them enough rope’ is really true here.
I think I know which company you are referring to, as they were the first beeswax candles I tried – they didn’t burn anywhere near as long as they stated (which is why I loved your video trials) and they put me off beeswax candles until I discovered yours at the Sydney Organic Expo a few years ago – and I was hooked!
Keep on the way you are and leave the bully to take care of himself (but by all means, clear your name when you can!).
Clare
HE’S CRAZY!
Dear Cate,
Thank you for sharing your situation – as a small business owner/operator this can’t have been an easy decision for you. I understand that developing a business is challenging enough without additional stress from competitors who act out of fear instead of innovation.
Your products are beautiful and the quality is exceptional. I wish you all the best and hope the situation is resolved soon so you can focus your energy on doing what you do best!
Shannon
The Dharma Door
What a pathetic individual this bully is. I love the look of your products and it’s only the airmile issue that prevents me from placing an order. I can’t find anything comparable over here in Blighty. I also love receiving your email/news as it reminds me that there are still people trading from a place of integrity.
Being true to yourself and carrying that can sometimes be challenging but rest assured there are many people who are grateful to you
for it.
Blessings
Glyn
Dear Queen B, sorry to hear about this. also sorry to say that he will probably read the blog and be driven to new lows…have no fear, anyone who has used Queen B products would never go back to blended oil or God forbid petroleum/paraffin candles. sorry your list of retailers had to be removed from the site, that is a low blow. he must be insanely jealous. he will go away, i feel certain of it. he will be consumed in his own toxins. cheers
Geez Cate, what a horrid saga. All you need after trying to peacefully earn an honest living. Although the feeling and energy spent in this would be terribly draining, I know, after spending a couple of days with you at PYD, you WILL be better for it and overcome. Stay strong and be true.
Best for the upcoming trade show.
It’s very clear the man is threatened by you.
Oh honey, I really believe that this bully will get his just deserts. Sometimes these things happen in life to help us grow; at the time it is difficult to see the benefit. But no matter how bad a situation gets it will give you the strength and knowledge you need in life. There is always a sliver lining to every cloud just believe that there will be and in time in will show. All the best, your candles are a delight.
nothing beats queen b candles! you jut have to smell how pure they are’ and see them burning to know this! he sounds like a luni! take care cate 🙂
Hold your head up high and don’t give him any more attention. If your candles are as good as you say they are and you truly believe this then what are you worried about?
Hi Susie,
Thanks for your comment and food for thought… although I’ve obviously already thought lots about it! What I’m worried about, just for the record, is that people are believing what they read on his site. That Queen B as a business is affected by that and that people who don’t really know me are judging me based on it. I know we aren’t meant to care about what other people think, but unfortunately I haven’t got that one down pat yet. My head is held high (finally) and I feel significantly unburdened having been more authentic about this journey that I am on.
I have always sought to be ‘real’ and yet at the same time I was not sharing this whole significant part of what goes on because I didn’t want our customers to be affected by the negativity?… and thereby, I wasn’t being real.
Thanks again Susie
Cheers
Cate
Hang in there Cate… It’s at time’s like these that you really hope that ‘karma’ happens! Queen B Candles are an amazing product, and they really do stand alone in the Australian market. Thanks for sharing the story.
Thank you so much for sharing your story Cate. I am disgusted by this person’s dishonest and unethical behaviour. We do not condone bullying in our schools, nor should it be accepted anywhere else. As is often the case, the bully continues to “get away with it” unless the bullied speaks up, so thank you again Cate for coming forward.
Being a business owner myself, I find it even more disappointing to hear of this behaviour. I am sure such underhanded actions on your competitor’s part will not serve him well in the long-run. He must certainly feel threatened by you, shame he’s not putting more energy into improving his business in a positive way.
I have purchased candles from both yourself and your competitor in my search for healthier options in the life of myself and my family (not just personally, but also environmentally). I have been frustrated many times by the difficulty in finding products that don’t contain harmful chemicals and find this man’s efforts to discount a genuinely good product reprehensible! He has certainly lost me as a client.
Keep up your good work Cate. You have a beautiful product!
Hi Cate,
I am writing to say thank you for showing your integrity at every level. Sharing this story is part of that. I love Queen B candles and all that they represent – purity, light, warmth, care – on so many levels.
Isn’t it interesting to see how much energy this man spends on negativity?! What we give out, we reap.
In light of that, thanks for sowing beauty into our lives in the way that you and your candles do!
regards
Kathy
Hi Cate,
Prior to discovering Queen B I had purchased some beeswax candles from a supplier in Northern N.S.W. – I have a feeling we’re talking about the same person who seemed to be providing a wonderful product – I have not bought my candles from this supplier since I found Queen B.
I tell all and sundry I purchase my beeswax candles from you or a lovely store in the town where I live who stocks Queen B. I trust your integrity completely and now I am aware what this person is doing, I will not purchase under any circumstances from this supplier again.
Regards,
Sue H
Dear Cate,
Devyani is right, he is feeling threatened. Instead of channelling his energies into his own business, he is attacking yours. Ultimately, he continues to hurt himself, his reputation and his business. I bought from you when I lived in Australia and when I moved to New Zealand I gave what I had left of my gorgeous QueenB tealights to a wonderful Steiner kindergarten in NSW, knowing full well of the purity of beeswax. I have since found a few other local artisans who craft pure beeswax candles at markets and I often purchase one or two of their products. BUT, for value for money, reliability and fabulous service I will still buy my tealights from you. I always look forward to receiving my package from QueenB (and at times a sweet hand written message along with my “official” paperwork. Believe in you as much as we do. Let go of the pain and energy this guy is draining from you, because if you don’t he is still winning.
Keile
NZ
I love your candles, and the fact that they are pure beeswax – I was initially a bit sceptical about the wonderful scent they give off; but its true! Having found a fantastic (and feel-good) product, I don’t greatly mind what they cost because i will gladly buy them anyway; and I have told many people about them plus love to give them as presents…your genuine and warm approach to your customers is great and however much energy someone puts into running you down, there are always going to be more people who will talk you up! best wishes :o)
Never Worry Cate,
What we put our time and passion into is what we grow, so give none to him.
He is clearly scared and underhanded tactics will always come undone.
Authenticity takes away the stress and anxiety of trying to keep up with the lies.
Believe that those who stay are those you are meant to be surrounded by and, through those, the best clientele will grow.
Kindest Regards,
Helen Hurle
Bairnsdale Natural Health Centre
WAY TO GO Cate! Unfortunately people who behave in this manner are so often allowed to continue without repercussion because people don’t stand up and demonstrate that it’s not OK to be bullied. Although you have been traumatised you will become stronger from the experience and show others that truth and justice can prevail when a culture of silence is challenged. Bless you courageous woman. 😉
Sorry to hear that you have had to put up with this for so long. Good on you for not entering into a slanging match with him. It’s sad that he can’t see that there is room in the world for more than one business selling beeswax candles. I suggest that you include some information about the products that you use to paint the candles, at the top of the home page, along with the other information about natural beeswax etc. At least if people visit both websites, they have the information that you don’t use toxic paints. I find it odd that it is illegal to make false claims about your own products, but you can get away with making them about your competitors’. Hmmm. Anyway, may you gain lots of new, loyal customers.
Dear Cate, your candles are the best ever. Don’t give him any more energy.. the creeps just make the good people stand out even more. I think you’re doing the right thing speaking up like this. Love and light, NM (Sydney)